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Talk Me Down

by ritalaura2000
[Reviews - 3]   Printer
Table of Contents

- Text Size +
Story Notes:

If you want you can see the video Talk me Down made by Icedis on YT since inspired me this. Thanks to Sue for the edit

 

 

Noah's cane accidentally kicks over a small metal wastepaper basket spilling two empty capped water bottles next to the bed in Luke's old room at the farm. He sits down on the bed and feels around to find the bottles, when his hands come across a crumbled ball of notepaper.

  

This is got to be something Luke wrote and discarded. I know him so well. Every time we'd either fight or have some problem, he writes all his secret thoughts and reflections. Then he crumbles the sheet into a ball and toss it away. He doesn't know that after those times here at the farm, I'd go looking for those sheets that told me so much about him.  As with all of those, this one is damp with his tears.

 

Noah presses out the crumbled sheet in his lap and gently holds it up. I'm holding all Luke's secret fears, and damn it, I can't read it! Luke's gone to Lily's house leaving me here after I told him to go. And then I found this, full of his scent.  

 

God, I'm hate being blind. I hate to be mad at Luke. I hate needing somebody to read this. Noah sweeps an angry arm across the bedspread causing his cane to drop to the floor. The sound brings Holden to the doorway.

 

“Noah? Do you need something?”

 

“Ah...yes. Can you please read this to me?” Noah holds up the sheet.

 

Holden takes the piece of paper and begins to silently read it.

 

“Luke gave this to you?”

 

“No... I found it here. But I know he wrote it.”

 

“I can’t read this to you, Noah. It's private. It would be better if you ask Luke to read it.”

 

“I know he didn't write it for me to read. But please Holden, I know that Luke is trying to protect me. For sure he didn't want to me know all of what he was feeling. I was the same way when he was in the wheelchair. But I really need to know. I used to be able to tell by looking at his face. But I can't do that. . .anymore."

 

“So you're sure you want me to read this to you?”

 

“I am.”

 

“OK. . .On the left side, there are some phrases like a poem or song lyrics. To the right appears to be Luke's thoughts.”

 

Noah nods and Holden begins reading. . .

 

 

 

 

 

I'm too tired to go to bed
I'm too wired for anything except
The crossfire in my head

 

He told me

He will stay here

That he would be more comfortable

Staying with my dad and grandmother

I can’t blame him

But he didn’t give me a chance

To say that I want to stay with him

He just said because of Emma’s rules

It would be better if I slept at my mom's

 

It's been a long night
'Caz I took all I can take
’Til the walls shook and the windows break
I want to phone you but it's far too late
It's been a long night  

 

It will be a long night

Like every night has been since the accident

I tried to control my hatred for Mason

But his teacher never respected my. . . our feelings

Why didn't I just let him deal with it. . .

Why

So talk me down
Talk me down
Talk me down
Talk me down  

 

I want to stay with him

But he's gone to his room

Without much more than a good-bye

I need his arms to hold me close

Instead I’m alone

Here in my room

And I can’t even stay here

For just this one night

       I just hoped to wait

Until he were sleeping soundly

To watch him closely 

And then return to my room

Just before he wakes

Like I did every night

Before he left for rehab

 

 

'Caz we fought an endless war

 

Against his fears

Against his dad

Against my fears

 

 

’Til we forgot what we were fighting for

 

But we always found our way back together

 

Now we can't stop

But we can withdraw

In the long night  

 

 

I know that it’s different now

Better if I go

And sleep in the room

That was yours in my mom’s house

The room that is full of memories

The memory of our first time

You’re the only one I've ever had

And you’re the only one I ever want

 

So talk me down
Talk me down
Talk me down
Talk me down  

Why you didn’t take me in your arms

Like you did to console me

When we thought my dad had died,

Like I did when you cried for your father

 Why you don't agree

That we need to find a way

I know you’re blind

I know that I have no right to ask this

But still

I know that you want to see everything. . . again.

To see me

And I want to see your love for me

 In your deep blue eyes

You've got to know how much I miss this

 You never talk too much

 But you tell me everything in the way

You look at me

  You have an idea how mad I was

How many times have I said . . .

If I had just left you alone
To concentrate

Nothing would have happened

And we would be here...

Together

 

 


The light flashed and I thought I'd died
My life passed before my eyes
It went too fast for the love I feel
Inside  

 

When the fireworks went off in your face

And you fell off the ladder

I thought you were dying

All I could see slipping away

Was you and me

And our life together...

All

 



So talk me down
Talk me down
Talk me down
Talk me down  

Why you can't you hug me?

Why you can’t forgive me?

All I need is you

Down, down, down

 

You in me

Me in you

 I crave your body

Your caress on my cheek

On my shoulders

On my chest

Caressing me everywhere

I need to feel

That you still want me

That you still love me

Touching me deeply

In a place where it's just us

Without shame

Without fear

Instead

You continue to push me away

And now you offer me only crumbs

I probably deserve that

 

 

 

Lay your head near mine
Tell me that it's all fine
Love me while there's still time
It's been a long night

Why you won’t make love to me

Why?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noah's cheeks are tear-stained. But he makes no attempt to wipe them away.A sad Holden places the sheet in Noah's hand and presses his fingers around it.

 

“Can you take me to him?”

 

"Sure." Holden gently offers his elbow to Noah 

 

 

The two now stand in front of Luke's room in Lily's home. Holden silently takes Noah's hand and places it on the door handle. Holden knows Noah will be safe inside. He lightly pats Noah's shoulder and leaves.

 

Noah breathes deeply and opens the door; hearing the cries of his love. Slowly with the aid of his cane, Noah walks over to the bed. The covers move as Luke looks up to see a figure standing over him. 

 

“Noah?”

 

Noah hands the sheet to Luke.

 

“I was so consumed by my pain that I forgot about how all this affected you."

 

“But how did you find it and how did you know what I wrote?”

 

Noah smiled.

 

“You always write when you're mad and then you throw it away. I found this sheet in the basket in your old room and your dad read it for me. . ."

 

Leaning his cane against a nearby wall, Noah sits down on the bed, opening his arms to welcome Luke into a familiar niche. There is no need to talk or cry. Noah takes Luke's chin in his hand and gently kisses his boyfriend's lips.

 

With mouths still joined, Noah gently lays Luke on his back. Noah then breaks away from the kiss to lovingly trace the outline of his lover's eyes, nose and oh so precious mouth. His hands travel down to find the hem of Luke's T-shirt. He pulls it over Luke's head and caresses his hairy chest while hearing Luke softly moan.

 

Luke starts to unbutton Noah's shirt, but his hands tremble. Noah places his hands on top Luke's to calm them. They tightly embrace, kissing, caressing as the desire increases... the want, need to be completely together again.

 

Noah removes Luke's pants and boxers as his lover's body trembles under Noah's loving strokes. Noah quickly discards his own clothes as his love opens his body to him. Noah deeply caresses Luke; hearing his moans gain in intensity. He senses when Luke is ready and slowly they become one.

 

Lost in their moans, with their lips and their eyes shedding tears of endless joy, their tongues now interwine in the midst of their mingled bodies. Together in perfect rhythm, they reach the heavens.

 

There is no need for words. Noah places his head upon Luke’s chest and embraces him as Luke lightly strokes his hair. Their sharing of love and deep emotion speak louder than a thousand words ever could. They know now they can face it all together.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter End Notes:

Thanks to Sue for the edit, and Disa for the  Nuke video "Talk me down" that inspire me this

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