Name: neddiheht (Signed) · Date: December 18, 2011 04:50 pm · For: Chapter 1
I struggled with this in places. I love the little gestures... Luke pulling up a chair to watch Noah sleep. But I didn't get that he was in his underwear until Noah says something many paragraphs later. It made me feel like I was getting an incomplete picture... and you always do, but here I really felt that.
I like that we get to see Noah at work... that Noah's gotten to the point of comfort with Luke that he can put on the display that has his crew uncomfortable with the too casual intimacy of the couple.
I get that Luke is jealous... Luke was always jealous, especially when he had little reason to be. But I also love that Luke could tell, almost immediately. Having read the entire series through, I struggle with Noah being comfortable with the little initmacies from Oliver... I'm guessing that at this point in writing the story you simply didn't know what happened.
Noah fleeing the cab is totally in character. But I'm curious that when they start to talk that it's Luke who runs and has to be reminded that they'd promised to talk these things out.
When I first writing, I admit, I became addicted to checking in the morning for comments... So I was producing chapters every second night or so. Really I was obsessed!
My day job has become more demanding on my time and I'm also working on a project out of hours too... so I find it difficult to get the time to write and read as well. I also have to fit my boyfriend, family and friends into that somewhere! LOL... Anyway this may be why some of these first chapters seem incomplete... It was just me being in a terrible hurry to post.
Also, I usually have a scene in my head and I'm working toward that. And that scene is really the one I want to write. So sometimes I'm lazy and rush through... like using the forward wind button on a movie you've seen before because you can't wait to see your favourite part. Bad bad habit I'm now trying to work on.
The only thing I can say about your comment above is that to me, Noah flees the cab more out of fear he'll slap Luke than because he's running so to speak. But I see your point. Maybe it is a little OCC for Luke to turn and walk away. He does usually face things head on...
And you are right... I didn't know I'd be writing Oliver into the plot again later on... so I tried to play off the fact that Noah doesn't remember... And being Noah has decided to pretend the whole event never happened.
Name: Loahisi (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2011 02:04 pm · For: Chapter 1
I love how Noah react in this chapter because you can he's grown up now. He doesn't need Luke's approval and that's good. Luke just make me mad lol. But I'm glad he came to his sense when Noah explain to him what happened.
Yes... Luke does get totally unreasonable when he's jealous! LOL! But luckily Noah is willing to fight now so he works hard to get through to Luke and make Luke see the situation for what it is.
Name: comicgirl (Signed) · Date: April 01, 2011 05:30 am · For: Chapter 1
it always goes back to mason
It was unresolved between them in the show and I wanted to fix that... Thanks again for the rating...
Name: daan73 (Signed) · Date: March 27, 2011 07:12 am · For: Chapter 1
pfewww powerfull !!
Yes... there is actually a reason why I wrote this one-shot... it's related to a later story...
Name: Santasorted (Signed) · Date: December 16, 2010 03:14 am · For: Chapter 1
Oh Luke! So cute when he's jealous! Lovely how they keep pulling through...
Author's Response: Thanks!
Name: daan73 (Signed) · Date: November 27, 2010 05:04 am · For: Chapter 1
pretty intense chapter
Thanks again :-)
Name: ficnic (Signed) · Date: November 12, 2010 09:55 am · For: Chapter 1
Aww, I don't want Luke to leave! Poor guys. Love this story, though.
Oh I know, I hate it too... sniff... sniff... but it really is the only logical progression. I mean only a soap opera would have somebody just up sticks and leave without sorting out their life first! Hee Hee!
Thanks again for the comment!